You will need:
A package of 15-bean soup. You could buy a package each of 15 different kinds of beans, but then I'd have to wonder about you.
Chipolte peppers (I buy them in a can, packed in adobo sauce)
A couple of carrots
A bell pepper or two
A link of smoked sausage
A couple of cloves of garlic
A can of whole tomatoes
A slow cooker, or a large pot with a lid
Ok, first things first - throw out the seasoning packet that comes with the beans. You don't wanna know what's in it. Rinse the beans and pick out anything that looks like a rock. Dump them into the pot or slowcooker. Add a lot of water.
Chop the carrot, onion, and bell pepper and add to the pot. Do the same for the sausage, unless like me you forgot to take it out of the freezer to thaw, in which case you can just plop it in all frozen like.
Turn the fire on low, or the cooker on medium, put the lid on, and get on with your life. In an hour or two, come back and slice the garlic and add it to the pot. Chop a chipolte pepper very fine and add it, too. I take out the seeds first because my family is a bunch of wimps, but you can leave them in. Heck, you can add two peppers if you want, or three if your mouth is coated with asbestos. Chop the tomatoes some and add them, along with the juice. The easiest way to do that is to just take a sharp knife and swish it through the tomatoes while they're still in the can.
Give it a stir, put the lid back on and cook for another hour or so. It's done when you're hungrier than the beans are hard. Serve over a bed of brown rice.